ephemeralization

Zappa's Stairway to Heaven is pretty excellent.  It made me laugh, anyways.  I'm about to head to the pool for a few laps, it'll be the first time I've worked out hard in a month or so.  Assuming I work hard, that is.  I opted out of the once a week drive to the CR torture session this semester; I could list excuses but for now let's just say I need to play my drums more than a few times a week before I'll be comfortable in that setting again.

Moving in to a new pad must take some practice.  I hope I do better next time.  This isn't to say that I've done much wrong, but damn it's the 23rd and I moved in on the second, I should be done by now, right?

Jeff says not to sweat it, it'll all come together over many months and gel.  Sounds fine, right now I'm focused on getting the garage cleaned up and then moving my kit in.  Gotta go buy hinges for the gates around the property today too, remember.

So it's just work and play for at least another semester! I make enough money to pay rent and travel, not to mention living like a king.  Life is good, etc.

yes

Life is wonderful, as usual.  I just read all about my big Sister's trip to Croatia; so far this year she's been to Belize, Rome, Copenhagen, Brussels, Bruges, Antwerp, Ghent, Switzerland, Belgium, and a hundred other places I'm sure.  She's a traveler, my inspiration.  Hannah and I decided we are going to spend Halloween in Boston/New York this year, so that trip is finally in the works.  We'll purchase plane tickets in the next couple days, after I tell me Sister and see what's up.

So! Boston, New York, maybe Montreal and definitely Florida.  I'll see my big Sister's pad, hang out with her husband I haven't seen in days, visit my little Niece for the first time (she's almost two?), see my little Sis in the meantime with her partner, and try and get the hang of flying and traveling.  After that we're gonna hit up other countries!

I'll post pics of my new home soon.  It's blowing me away every day, I get off work and within five minutes I'm home relaxing and stoked to be in this vibrant healing space.  My new room mates are old souls I think, wise and wonderful.  We all have this feeling that this step in our journey is synchronistic.  The art in this space is a continuously evolving nurtured project that seems to be growing organically, fluidly.  I'm so happy, I spend time every morning in the park a one minute walk from my home with our dog who understands that every day is another wonderful beginning.  Bliss.

Empathy

The only way to communicate without noise scrambling transmission is to be genuinely empathetic.

conciousness

Bucky Fuller writes that every individual living with the intent to better Universe has a positive impact on the whole system as an additional weight on the balance.

Paul argues that living authentically produces the same effect.

All esoteric-philosophic analogies are talking about the same thing.

Bucky mentioned that the ancients written language was mostly pictographic-ideogramatic.  People communicated whole ideas with symbolic imagery rather than broken syllabic drudgery.

Maybe this enlightenment shit was mass consumable and has been hidden through the purposeful over-complication of information transmission.

Maybe movies and stories and Internet are moving us back to that future.

still...

Watching the second dvd of Zappa Plays Zappa.  It's amazing.  Check it out as soon as you can.

And yeah, all that stuff seemed pretty heavy; but life is fucking fantastic! I get to move into a new home tomorrow, I don't work again until Wednesday, I got the rest of today off, and all I have to do is stretch and work out until my lady shows up for some beach time.

the anorexic space between love and hate

Am I spread too thin? I want to do everything.  Maybe being the jack of all trades and master of none is more than just a comfortable conjecture.  I don't really mind, I'd like to take my hobbies as far as my potential allows me too, but right now I feel like it's my lack of free time keeping me from fulfilling my dreams.  On the one hand, working five nights a week is giving me the opportunity to fulfill some of these; but the totally opposite schedules worked by Hannah and I is making us nuts at present.  I see her about two hours a day followed by sleep, she wakes up and goes to work, I do shit for a few hours and go to work, I get home and we hang for an hour or two and go to sleep.

Then I have two days off a week, while she works.  These are the days we see eachother the most, with the vice versa being true also.  Besides that, how do I play enough piano, drum set, sharpen my knives, read my books, practice chi gung, tai ji chuan, gung fu, stretch, study sushi books, prepare to enter school again, pack up my crap to move to a new house and then move to a new house, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for myself, shop for food, play frisbee golf so I can see my friends once a week or month, complete errands like getting new tires or an oil change for Hannah's car, reformatting a computer or building one for a customer, clean house, do laundry, smoke a bong, take a leisurely bath, go camping, hiking, biking, surfing, rock climbing, walk on a beach, play video games, etc.

how's that for a run-on sentence? All of this and more (ever more) is squished into two impossibly slim days off a week of which much of my time is monopolized (albeit gladly!) by activities in which my partner may also participate so that we may actually see each other more than a couple hours during the week.

I bitch more often than I'd like to, as far as my ideal self is concerned.  Plenty of philosophical and/or esoteric systems of knowledge explain that I am too hard on myself, my idealized perception of what I'd like my reality to be is in fact a story I tell myself to passively frustrate and torture me.  With another Sushi Chef out the door, one leaving for three weeks, another for two, I'm feeling slightly trapped.  I know it's a dream, but in my dream, I'm stuck.

Chapel Perilous remains a paradox.